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Today I forgave myself.
I wrote a blog back in October 2013 (My Heart has Joined the Thousand, for my Friend Stopped Running Today) about an Eastern Grey Kangaroo that died in my care called Earl. I was devastated at the time since I was staging him for another carer. In the blog I don’t mention how he died. At the time I thought it was because I didn't want to upset the original carer too much, but in hindsight it was for a different reason... I blamed myself.
Now here is the story behind the story.
Earl was 9kg at the time of his death. I had gone down to the pen for the afternoon feed and there was no sign of him. I checked the pen for about 30mins and there was nothing, absolutely nothing to indicate he had dug out or something had dug in and Mumford didn’t look stressed at all over his pen mate’s disappearance. I even looked on the roof of the shelter for goodness sake. I started looking outside the pen and calling, calling……….. my heart starting to hurt.
I found him about 30 metres away from the pen with a broken neck and a deep wound around the eye. I was utterly distraught my mind searching frantically for answers. I even looked at my dogs, the gentlest and carefullest of any dog I’d ever owned and who have been trained since puppies to leave my animals and wildlife in general alone. Whatever had killed Earl it was my fault, hole in the fence, fence not high enough, neighbor’s dogs, my dogs somehow, whatever it was it was my fault.
The next day my mentor asked me about Wedge Tailed eagles in the area and at last there seemed to be an explanation as to how a kangaroo got out of a secure pen and ended up dead. (Continued)
Samantha "I'm a person who feels I live in paradise and truly love Australia after immigrating here in 2003. I work as a foreign exchange trader, live with my true soul mate and husband Albert. I have a passion for Aussie wildlife and became a registered wildlife carer in 2005 and can say I feel truly privileged to be able to raise and rehabilitate orphan wallaby/kangaroo joeys. I love these creatures with my heart and soul. My dream is to be able to help struggling volunteer wildlife carers, financially, so that they can do what they do best without worrying how to pay the next vet bill"