I am a great believer in self-improvement and goal setting, but after hitting a brick wall in my professional development, I signed up for a John Assaraf (from The Secret) brain re-training program. Basically it is all about re-wiring your subconscious brain, kicking out old habits and beliefs and replacing with new. In six months amongst other things I had improved self worth, greater positivity and even my fire breathing dragon persona went back in its cave. Whoohoo calm me, what progress!
However, a few weeks ago my self-esteem disappeared down the plughole after someone critisised my art and me publicly via social media. Apparently, I didn’t paint, I wasn’t a ‘real’ artist, anyone could do what I could do on a computer and people should really buy from any of the thousand other artists selling their ‘real’ paintings. I was devastated, my self worth? (Errrrm, 10p fer a cuppa tea mister?) My primeval brain did its thing and I bought into their negativity believing what they said. I sat and stewed for days, my thoughts ranging from giving up my art, to searching out my canvas and oils to create a ‘real’ painting. My current work on the koalas was abandoned.
John Assaraf in his teaching says, “… your biggest growth opportunity will usually appear at the moment of your greatest point of resistance. Break through your own resistance and you’ll break through to another level of being…”
So, taking that on board I changed tack and wondered how I could ‘prove’ that I did actually paint. “Hello Samantha!”
The Cat, Rat and Sword painting evolved from this (previous blog post), which was completely different than any of my other work. You couldn’t mistake that for a photograph, could you? Had I proved a point?
Today I’ve finished another piece, again entirely in reaction to this event and yes John A, you are right, I’ve passed through that resistance of believing in my art and myself and reached another level. I love my latest painting (which will be revealed to those of you signed up for my Notification list FIRST) I think this one is up there with my best and I have to thank a critic for causing me enough pain to grow and develop.
Perhaps on some level you identify with this or possibly it will help if you ever experience the same kind of thing. Instead of being devastated or hurt look into your heart to discover where the hurt comes from and only allow yourself to think/talk positivity. I bounced back by forcing myself into thinking “This is really an opportunity in disguise, what is it telling me? How can I change to improve? What can I learn from this?” It didn't take long for me to adopt it as real.
So, focusing on positivity and growth, it actually works. Yay!
Oh, by the way. I need a title for this piece as well as my Cat, Rat and Sword one. So if you put forward a suggestion and I use it, there may be a prize of some kind in it for you!
Samantha "I'm a person who feels I live in paradise and truly love Australia after immigrating here in 2003. I work as a foreign exchange trader, live with my true soul mate, husband Albert. I have a passion for Aussie wildlife and became a registered wildlife carer in 2005 and can say I feel truly privileged to be able to raise and rehabilitate orphan wallaby/kangaroo joeys. I love these creatures with my heart and soul. My dream is to be able to help struggling volunteer wildlife carers, financially, so that they can do what they do best without worrying how to pay the next vet bill"